Excerpted from the forthcoming book, "NTC's Dictionary of Korea's Business and Cultural Code Words" (NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company), by Boye Lafayette DeMente. DeMente is an author of more than forty books and currently works as a consultant on Korea, China, and Japan. For more information about his currently available work, check out the Internet site (http://www.dancris.com/~phxbooks/).

By Boye Lafayette De Mente

In premodern Korea infant mortality was high because of a variety of diseases and other health problems that did not respond to herbal medicines. Newborn babies were treated with extra care in an effort to preserve their lives. This generally included taboos against visits by outsiders for the first 21 days of the baby's life, and not formally recognizing the new family member until it was fairly certain that the child was going to survive.

A long time ago it also became customary for families to wait until the 100th day to officially celebrate the birth of a new child with a baek Il (baek eel) or "100th Day Party," making this one of the most auspicious social events in Korean life. Relatives and close friends were invited to participate in the happy event. Baek il parties are still the custom in Korea, and continue to be one of the more important social events that take place regularly throughout the year. Many families, in fact, stage three baek il - one for the father's family, one for the mother's family, and another one for the father's school friends and work colleagues.

Baek il are marked by feasts that include a variety of special foods and drinks. Guests are expected to bring gifts. Families generally take platters of rice cakes and other specialities to their closer neighbors, who respond by bringing gifts for the infants. "100th Day Parties" are always occasions for taking numerous photographs that go into family albums. (In earlier times it was customary to take frontal pictures of baby boys in the nude as a public record of their maleness.) The second milestone in the life of a new baby is its first birthday. The first-year birthday party, or dol (dohl), represents the official "coming out" of the newest addition to Korean families. Families go all out to provide popular festive foods and make sure guests enjoy themselves. Children are usually dressed in traditional Korean attire (called Han bok, which means "Korean clothing") for this celebration. Their mothers, grandmothers, and sometimes other family members as well, may also dress in Han bok.

A special "floor table," piled high with traditional festive foods in colorful dishes, is set up for the child and the mother (who feeds the child and makes sure it doesn't knock things off of the table). One of the key events of dol parties is to place money, a pen, a piece of thread, and a book on a table in front of the birthday child to see which one it will pick up first as a way of predicting its future. According to old beliefs, what the child picks up first is an omen of its future. The money relates to wealth, the pen to writing, the book to scholarship, and the thread to a long life. Not surprisingly, most parents hope their child will go for the money. Relatives and friends who are invited to dol parties are expected to bring gifts. Among the most prized and most common gifts are gold rings (which in the past were an important hedge against a variety of disasters), clothing and toys.

On the 100th day after a child's first birthday celebration it is customary for families to make offerings of rice and seaweed soup to Samshin Halmoni (Sahm-sheen Hahl-mohn-ee), the "Grandmother Spirit," in recognition of the role that grandmothers have traditionally played in child-raising in Korea. The family, relatives and friends then celebrate by eating such traditional good-luck foods as red bean cakes and steamed rice cakes. On this occasion, male children are dressed in modernized traditional clothing and headgear that indicates they are unmarried. Female children wear traditional clothing and cosmetics.

Life in premodern Korea was hard and short for most people. Infant mortality was high, and fatal illnesses among children and adults were common. Reaching the age of 60 was an extraordinary achievement that was marked with a special celebration known as the hwangap (hwahn-gahp), which literally means "returning age," and figuratively, "starting one's life over." The custom, Chinese in origin, was based on the lunar calendar concept of recording time in cycles of 60 years, and regarding 60 years as a full life-time, with the cycle of time, and life, starting over on the 60th year.

People who were fortunate enough to live to be 60 were generally privileged to give up all responsibility to behave like children again if they wanted to and spend the rest of their lives as respected seniors, taking their ease, enjoying their grandchildren, traveling, and so on. In earlier times, age was more or less equated with wisdom, and the older a person the wiser they were presumed to be. In a certain sense this was generally true, because most of the wisdom involved in the challenges of daily living in early Korea was based on practical experience and accumulated folk knowledge, not academic or scholarly learning.

Although men who retired after reaching the age of 60 (or earlier) generally gave up direct responsibility for supporting their families and running their businesses, their authority usually remained intact throughout their lifetimes. It was especially common for elderly people to upbraid and sometimes spank misbehaving children, something that still occasionally happens today. (Unlike in the West, Korean parents and teachers customarily paddle children on the bared calves of their legs, not on their buttocks or back.)

Today the 60th birthday of a parent or grandparent is still an occasion for a major celebration, and is often the biggest event in the lives of many families. Sons and grandsons participate in sending out invitations. If the number of guests expected is too large for the home to accommodate, a hall or a banquet room in a restaurant is usually rented. If the celebration takes place in a rural village, straw mats and canopies may be erected outside the homes and the parties may last for several days.

At hwangap celebrations honorees and their spouses are seated at a main banquet table at the head of the room or hall. They dress in their finest traditional clothing, like newlyweds. Piles of fruits and cakes are spread on low tables before them. Sons and daughters, in the order of their age, take turns bowing before their parents, pouring wine for them and wishing them many more happy years. After the immediate members of the families have completed their obeisances, younger brothers of the fathers and then their sons take their turns. Then friends of the parents pay their respects in the same manner.

Music, usually provided by professionals playing traditional drums and flutes, is a major part of hwangap ceremonies. Members of the family and guests sing, dance and act like children to make the old couple feel young again. Another part of the custom is for those celebrating their 60th birthday to reflect on their life up to that point and give serious thought to their "second," or new life, as an elder.

Now that people are living longer, the 70th birthday, known as kohi (koh-hee), which means "old and rare," is also celebrated with special enthusiasm.